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For YOU

SUPERVISION & COACHING
 

How are you really doing? In which phase of life are you right now? Have you arrived more and more at yourself and in your power, in your sovereignty, in your presence? Or do you finally want to move forward and resolve some issues for yourself?

In the 1:1 individual setting, it is about a counseling accompaniment on time for managers, C-level positions, executives, project managers, professionals, freelancers, consultants, coaches and all people who want to get more into their energy.

You feel clearly: it's time for light and perspective. It's time to become effective and it's time to take different paths that will give your satisfaction and happiness a tailwind. For this you might just need some short accompanied clearing up of one or the other emotional roadblock or you might wish to have a companion by your side for some time.

For you as a leader, it's often about optimizing your leadership style, being courageous in the face of organizational complexity, making better decisions, and dealing well with power and status dynamics. Most of the time, you have clear vision and know exactly what to do. Yet there's a perceived barrier and you just don't change it. You don't want to admit your dissatisfaction and your difficulties or you have been wanting to face them more decisively, to get to the roots of your anger or to follow the traces of your anger for a long time? 
Then take or rather give yourself time, invest in your personal growth for more well-being and happiness, subsequently for better relationships and your own clarity. 

Who pays for coaching? Supervision & Coaching are mostly paid by the employer, more and more often executives, leaders or professionals take their personal development into their own hands as self-payers for their own satisfaction. In Germany you can deduct the bill from your taxes, just as you can for further education.

Typical motives and causes for supervision & coaching

The longing for a trusting relationship is usually the deeper desire behind the problems. A relationship where there is no pressure and everything that is there can finally be expressed. A relationship where no interests are in the foreground and you can open up and put into words what is bothering you, what worries you, what saddens you, what occupies you deep inside and what leaves you helpless, frustrated and angry.

Do you have real trouble at work?
• with customers / colleagues
• in the team or in the project
• with superiors and management
• weak results due to virtuality and physical distance
• by lack of trust in the team, other departments or network partners
• through own loss of meaning and exhaustion

Or are real changes just around the corner?
• assumption of even more responsibility in leadership
• permanent tension in the leadership circle
• change of institution / organization / company
• new roles, tasks and fields of work

With SUPERVISION + COACHING you get further, because you get 
• a dialogue space just for yourself (I lend you my ear, then you have three...
• with me as a life-experienced conversation partner
• to confide in and think through for better decisions and a better future
• to find happier ways for you and your loved ones

Anyone who is considered competent today is recognized, sought after and valued by others in their personal and professional environment. Therefore, come completely to yourself and face your own issues. Be there even more with your abilities, your strengths, your longings: they bring you home to yourself and you become effective. always. everywhere. 

Contents of the personal coaching are processes and situations from the personal and professional leadership and task field or previously agreed topics.

Principles of personal coaching are confidentiality, secrecy, clarification of personal and professional situations, which occupy, burden or touch you.

Commissioning of personal coaching is always agreed individually, either your employer pays for it or you are a self-payer. We agree on the details in writing and transparently. Uncomplicated. Simple. Clear.

The rhythm of the personal coaching is agreed upon as needed, sometimes only a few sessions, more often a coaching extends over several months or a year. Get an appointment for an initial meeting and we'll talk about what you need and wish to change. ðŸ˜Š

The transfer and implementation of personal coaching requires a problem update and awareness. Where exactly are the personal hurdles for next steps? Perceiving | recognizing | naming | changing requires strong sources of strength, patience with oneself, belief in realization, support from important reference persons in life and work, a vision, the inner power of integration, the self-given permission to be successful, and of course self-discipline as well as organization. It also requires growing discernment about what is good for you and what you want to let go of. Before it becomes easy for you, it is hard, but by no longer avoiding or denying the hurdles, you can finally feel your true needs and stop standing in the way of their fulfillment yourself. Mindful Supervision + Coaching helps you naturally build fresh energy and resilience at any age: live lighter with conscious self-direction and get into the colorful life!

Let´s talk about...    write an e-mail

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Spielzeug mit bunten Figuren

For TEAMS

SUPERVISION & COACHING
 

Have you ever been in a real team or just dreamed about it? If so, you know the feeling of belonging and power in acting together and in achieving, realizing and shaping the future. Whether classically led, agilely aligned, or already equipped with artificial intelligence, working in teams plays the biggest role in institutions and organizations for the continuous success we consciously strive for.

Good leadership pays attention to team development. Hand on heart, what do you think: are you a squad, a chaotic bunch, already a real team or still a conspiratorial community?

In teams that are characterized by a too quiet atmosphere, mutual avoidance or volcanic pressure, factual problems turn into conflicts and often lead to real crises with the corresponding drama. Nobody really needs this, because changes in the working world and in society have long since ceased to be slow and leisurely due to technological leaps and megatrends. The good news is: every team can develop if the leadership allows it and the longing for joy at work outweighs the wrangling and chaos.

This is the moment when a certain willingness to cooperate and to make peace and a genuine interest in the balance of power, in belonging and in trust begin to stir or want to be awakened from a (long) slumber in preconcealment. There is also the possibility that teams sometimes get stuck in a bad climate for years and get used to whining and complaining.

Successful teams, on the other hand, know their competencies and accomplish extraordinary feats with all members under sometimes difficult conditions. To do this, they must form close relationships with each other. Everyone feels responsible for the results in their respective roles, and a unique team culture develops that allows for disruptions in cooperation and finds its own active way to deal with them.

It is not uncommon that there is a lack of suitable dialog and work structures in which the problems that stand in the way of the team can be discussed openly. When air is allowed to come to the tensions and the conflicts that need to be clarified or should finally be brought on the part of the leadership, creativity for finding solutions, relief and joy@work again emerge. In order to work and act in this way productively, performant, satisfying, even with excellence and joy in the team, strong dynamic resistances in the team have to be overcome. Every departure or addition, every change of context causes strengthening or weakening and the team dynamic starts again with other actors. 

No team without context, because if you do not take into account the environment in which the team is located, you will be eaten and fail.

Teams do not have a brain, but consist of individuals with their own perceptions | realities | goals. Teams therefore need guided communication like the air they breathe in order to create the conditions for high performance. In order to achieve a coherent team culture, contact, discussion and decisions are required.

Guiding processes for healthy team dynamics are questions about 
• Belonging and boundaries; who belongs, who doesn't?
• Decisions and goals: How are decisions made? How do goals emerge?
• way we work: How do we work together here in a purposeful way? What patterns of interaction have emerged and what is conducive/obstructive to our achieving goals?
• Leadership and health: What can I do for you so that you are really satisfied in my team? What contribution can you make so that the team and I are satisfied? Do the team members have everything they need to do a really good job? 
trust and track versus command and control

Conscious team development impulses can be set in many ways from the perspective of leadership | management | product ownership or also initiated by team members. As a rule, every team needs this specific retreat atmosphere outside of routine work 1-2 times a year. 

This can be
• short 1-2 hour inspiring impulses on selected topics
• workshops on role allocation and collaboration, communication, conflict and energy management
• full-day team offsites for strategy development and future management or
• Business Coaching Circles for understanding within the team itself or across several internal/external boundaries
• conflict clarifications within the team on roles, tasks, values, rules and activities, weaknesses and risks in service delivery, 
which have become bitterly necessary in the meantime.

Team development supports teams in releasing the tacit and explicit knowledge in the team about appropriate processes, relationships and context and using it for success. Turning the resistances in the team into team reinforcers.

Relevant environments and contexts of teams are crucial for their conditions of existence.

Team development helps to sharpen the view for these environments and to realistically assess potentials at an early stage.

Performance, goals, structure, climate and dynamics of the team are typical characteristics that show the development status of a team. Highly developed teams have become aware of their goals/tasks, what the organization looks like and who is responsible for what.

Advancing in the (leadership) team with Supervision + Coaching
• a safe space and dialog room just for you as a team 
• with me as a facilitator experienced in life and work 
• to confide and think through for better decisions and a better future
• to clarify conflicts and find creative solutions with a future
• to find happier ways for you and your team

Let´s talk about...    write an e-mail

For GROUPS

SUPERVISION & COACHING
 

You are a new or already existing group | community - private or in a company - and you want to clarify, maintain or change your intention?
What every community needs to clarify is belonging, values and beliefs, identity and purpose. Sometimes this happens by itself and is clear and sometimes it cannot be done without spending time and space on it. It can happen that expectations and fears unfold more influence than is still comfortable or they should have. The questions of who is in charge, how decisions are made and who contributes in which role are also waiting for clarity and coherent truth. The realistic determination of the situation, the strengths and the prospects may be conducive to a joyful cohesion and to advancing one's own possibilities. Sometimes, however, it goes faster with external help. You are looking for a workshop leader or temporary / regular supervision & coaching?
Congratulations, because groups are regularly exposed to resistances that they themselves cannot really comprehend, but have to overcome if they do not want to disintegrate. The idea and illusions of self-organization often lead to false estimations of group dynamic forces.

If the group grows and thinks about becoming more permanent, hopefully leadership functions will emerge organically. If that doesn't happen, the results decline and dissatisfaction spreads.

Further development of the group, roles, climate, commitment, dealing with criticism, relationship to other groups, working methods, context and ecosystem, steering and governance issues are added the more professionalization is sought.

Group supervision brings light into the darkness of intentions, wishes and expectations.

Group coaching can help selectively to clarify deadlocked situations and deepening, or organized as regular process support case discussions, retrospectives and reviews to reflect on their own actions. In group dynamic turbulences, anger, frustration, fear, stress and exhaustion are the most common emotions and effects. With good supervision, this can be prevented and driving on sight and psychological safety will return: connect first and content will follow...

Supervision & coaching of groups requires the willingness, desire and agreement of the participants. Group coaching does not teach, but helps the group and the people to reach a coherent group contract and to realize their intentions in the sense of their intention.

Let´s talk about...    write an e-mail

bunte runde Filzscheiben auf einem Holzfussboden
Notizen an einem Holzbalken gepinnt

For ORGANISZATIONS

SUPERVISION & COACHING
 

The human being is the center. The human being is the means. Dot.

Organizations cannot avoid this area of tension. Is it now about performance, goal achievement and efficiency, or is it about focusing on the well-being of employees? The answer lies more in both and. Because all leadership needs the ability to endure apparent and real contradictions inside and outside the organization, to manage power and status dynamics, to take care of stakeholders in the best possible way, and to energetically manage the obvious imbalances.

Important for leaders and HR'ers: Supervision & Coaching takes the pressure off,
• when there are persistent conflicts with superiors, at the same level, or with employees who resist resolution
• when there are signs of exhaustion and burn-out
• when frustration, anger and stress have already had a sensitive effect on motivational levels.

Where do we come from? Where do we want to go? And what painful facts do we want/need to face? Where are dysfunctional sources of conflict or neglected construction sites? These kinds of smart diagnostic processes for organizational development lead to amazing self-diagnoses.

Self-diagnoses help not to structure the problems away in the short term, but to take a targeted inventory and create a picture based on observations and (brief) interviews.

In order for agility, digitization, automation, more and more artificial intelligence in the world of work and, as a result, more personal responsibility on the part of employees to form the basis for cooperation and collaboration, managers need clear orientation for their own leadership concept. In view of a world that is threatening to come apart at the seams in many places, one's own orientation can falter faster than one would like and the realization dawns: we have to do something.
In these cases, it helps to focus on the development of the organization in sub-areas or as a whole system. IMPORTANT: make sure that these measures do not weaken the system through predetermined concepts and management fashions, but rather promote a self-diagnosis of the organization and the courage to recognize what exactly is needed and then to change it.
So what exactly do we need in order to be better positioned in the future, both in the cultural, social and infrastructural areas? It's about recognizing how good are we at what we call operational excellence and how good are we at transforming and changing something? Finding a sufficient and non-sprawling framework for appropriate employee participation becomes an artful exercise. But where to start and where to begin?

Supervision, process facilitation and organizational development
help to accept the truth of the situation, to support self-clarification and self-assurance in a confidential space without pressure and the expectation of assertion of specific interests, and to arrive at better decisions.
• What can leaders do and what do they need in terms of inner attitude, of leadership instruments and tools to achieve more self-leadership, inner certainty • and decisiveness for themselves and finally to stimulate and inspire them for their area of responsibility?
• What can teams do to realize their potential in the organization, to perform courageously, and to try out new things in the process?

Supervision & Coaching
helps with organizational reflection, with looking at the situation in which we or the organization actually are, what do we have to change and what can the responsible persons and each individual neutralize or do differently?

Let´s talk about...    write an e-mail

For COACHES

SUPERVISION & COACHING
 

Supervision of your own coaching practice is a proven method to reflect and improve your coaching work. You have been in the role of a coach for a long time or would like to grow well into the role or expand it after your coaching training? 

For this you wish a connection to a more experienced coach or a professional home in a group of coaches? In order for your coaching practice to grow steadily in depth, strength, colorfulness and even more security, we coaches need continuous training and supervision. Reflecting on the quality of your coaching practice in a protected space, expanding your repertoire of methods and working on your own questions about your coaching practice - all this happens in good supervision of coaching. Supervision for coaches can be done in a 1:1 setting or in a small group of 5-10 coaches. 

Moderationskarten mit Texten und Skizzen auf einem Holzfussboden
Holzspielzeug mit bunten Figuren, Symbol für Paarberatung

For COUPLES

SUPERVISION & COACHING
 

"Love, like fire, has to be fanned again and again. It dies when it ceases to hope or to fear." La Rochefoucauld

You need new courage to love, want to clarify your relationship or have already fallen into a (permanent) crisis?
It can, may and must not be difficult to make relationships happy. It doesn't have to be a matter of chance whether a love, a partnership or even a friendship succeeds in the long run. However, this requires a mindful relationship culture at eye level.
As a rule, the logic of souls brings together precisely those who only reach human maturity through the experiences of being with and, above all, against each other.
It is therefore a matter of finding anew the hope for the success of a loving connection, especially in the crises that inevitably occur, and not settling into resignation, withdrawal or arrangement. For these are the worst enemies of one's own aliveness and the supposedly right life is created in the wrong one. High performance, power and status, consumption and constantly needed distraction then serve to compensate for a lack of love experienced early on.

Love is the sense,
Dialogue is the way,
dignity the principle.

(Michael Cölln)

Relationships flatten, grow cold or fail as a rule due to a lack of truthfulness or depth in the exchange of body, mind and soul. Then it is high time to pause and courageously get professional help for a limited period of time and to find your own ways out of the trap of permanent quarrels, neediness and conflicts. Suppressing feelings in the long run or avoiding deepening emotional dialogues is sure to make people ill at some point over the years. The consequences are high blood pressure, cardiovascular diseases, concentration and sleep disorders, susceptibility to infections and immune deficiencies and many other psychosomatic complaints.
I work according to the method of Conflict Clarification Help® and Couples Synthesis. Couples Synthesis is in the tradition of humanistic psychology. In addition to working on and clarifying partnership conflicts, the aim is to bring the love potential inherent in every couple to creative development.

Couples counseling helps to clarify current conflict situations in the partnership and the need for professional support. Are clarifying sessions enough to understand the past and to clarify the present way of dealing with each other and with each other? Does the clarification serve a different future direction that brings back more satisfaction, joy and desire for life? Or is it necessary to learn something new in order to bring back into life the lost ability and willingness to dialogue? 
In this case, the focus should be on couples therapy, preferably in a group of couples who are also looking for a coherent orientation and design of their love. In this case, the focus should not be on conflict work alone, but should also include the learning of a loving relationship culture. If this succeeds, a real healing factor in human togetherness emerges.

Let´s talk about...    write an e-mail

About ME

SUPERVISION & COACHING
 

Happiness is inside you | Competencies make people | Open your heart instead of racking your brains

I live according to these principles myself. Curiosity about inner and outer worlds, listening and perceiving the world as much as possible without judgment fascinate me. Then I can better understand what my counterpart really wants to express, how the emotional state is and which spirit wants to develop. I like children with their natural urge for love and truth. Every understanding attention lets them blossom and develop their natural urge to discover with a secure connection.
It is the same in adult life. Every sincere offer of dialogue and loving humor leads in no time at all to good conversation and exchange, to the much-cited psychological security, to understanding, to lively encounters, to holding differences and common ground. Likewise, of course, to the detachment or the common melody with deepening potential in friendship.

I am honestly a humanist through and through with a lot of experience in the world of business and equipped with a future technology friendliness if it is grandchild and planet friendly. I am fascinated by innovation and ideas for a smartly designed future. Because what is really good is good for all and not just for the few....
I also appreciate the experts who are skeptical about education for good behavior and who would like to replace it with more relationships, bonding and love despite the lack of time.

In my own practice in Königswinter, I offer temporary support to all those interested in their own development and assume that self-healing forces in you or in organizations want to come to light when they think about getting supervision & coaching.

Personally, I am married and already have 3 grandchildren who make me happy and enjoy.
Professionally, I have had an exciting journey over the last 25 years. If you want to get an overview of my professional journey, you can download my profile. Coaching and trainings are also available in English.
For larger orders I work in a network of professional consultants and management consultancies.

If you want to know more, please don't hesitate. Make an appointment for an exchange and an initial meeting.

Let´s talk about...    write an e-mail

Profile to download

Portrait Elisabeth Cartolaro, Frau steht lächelnd im Tuerrahmen
alte Schreibmaschine auf Regal Symbol für Konzept und Philosophie

CONCEPT & PHILOSOPHY

SUPERVISION & COACHING
 

In coaching there are no prefabricated solutions as in use cases in functional consulting. In coaching processes, coachees come with their concerns, own issues, problems and stress crises, mostly against an organizational background and questions about professional or personal development.
The topics are as different as the people, but in the end it is about who am I, how do I want to live and work and what do I need for this? Self-awareness and self-reflection come into play. Every little step counts towards more coherence and clarity in order to make better decisions.

How happy are you on a scale from 0 to 10? This simple question, in the spirit of Steve de Shazer, the founder of brief therapy and solution-focused work, leads to the so-called negative emotions, to dissatisfaction, to suffering and emotional pain. And further: what do you actually want to change about the problem and why? To what extent can you (still) believe in your happiness in life? This is the guideline for the coaching work. Coaching is successful when ...

In coaching there are no prefabricated solutions as in use cases in functional consulting. In coaching processes, coachees come with their concerns, own issues, problems and stress crises, mostly against an organizational background and questions about professional or personal development. 
The topics are as different as the people, but in the end it is about who am I, how do I want to live and work and what do I need for this? Self-awareness and self-reflection come into play. Every little step counts towards more coherence and clarity in order to make better decisions.

How happy are you on a scale from 0 to 10? This simple question, in the spirit of Steve de Shazer, the founder of brief therapy and solution-focused work, leads to the so-called negative emotions, to dissatisfaction, to suffering and emotional pain. And further: what do you actually want to change about the problem and why? To what extent can you (still) believe in your happiness in life? This is the guideline for the coaching work. Coaching is successful when ...

Coaching is successful when those seeking advice and assistance 
• want to develop their effectiveness better
• express their concerns confidentially
• find sustainable solutions
• make better decisions
• are able to neutralize their stresses
• find new access to their own feelings and needs
• develop their own communication and dialogue skills accordingly
• gain confidence in action and more moments of coherence and joy of life

The coachées are experts of their lives and not the coach. This is important because it is about a fulfilling and successful career and life of the coachee and her/his happiness and not about knowledgeable advice by the coach. Good listening, humor and simple non-psychologizing language may therefore fill the sessions.

Coaching in a business context draws its power from exactly the same sources. The organization as a whole cannot be doing well if trust has been lost, if managers or employees suffer from dysfunctionalities.

Understanding coaching in this way has, by the way, been confirmed by science in meta-analyses, i.e. summaries of many studies, as highly effective: see Does coaching work?

According to these findings, there is a very concrete correlation between good coaching and positive effects such as greater ability to emotionally self-regulate, increased coping skills in dealing with stress, task-related performance improvement, more positive attitudes toward work, and an increase in overall well-being.

My concept of Supervision & Coaching represents a philosophy of eye level in adult interaction and even more a help for real self-help. The ancient Delphic oracle of "Know thyself." also applies in the modern world of life and work. In other words: connect with yourself and your feelings, use professional guidance in the best sense as a framework for your own potential development and become what you are. 
This applies to individuals, teams and surprisingly also to organizations in terms of realizing one's core, one's purpose and one's self.

Change of perspective is one of the most important tools to grasp situations and scenes of professional and personal everyday life, to better understand what is happening and to orient oneself in it. 
Developing ideas for solutions and bringing about satisfactory changes is the main goal in the coaching process.
Role analysis is often the focus of awareness. What do I offer as a coachée and what is apparently expected of me? Having role clarity means knowing what the explicit and implicit expectations are of one's own person/group/organizational unit. Addressing real or perceived expectations leads to greater self-clarification and reassurance.

Conflict Counseling and Conflict Clarification® can be in the foreground at the beginning of a supervision and coaching process, when the participants are stuck, not getting anywhere, the performance stagnates and the climate becomes more and more viscous. Here it is important to pull dysfunctional and destructive things out of the system, isolate them and clean them up before the light is allowed to fall on the future and better ways.

Developing next steps, securing results, making transfer easy and promoting the desire for the future play a major role in each individual session and in the entire coaching process, so that what has been worked out has a chance of bringing about changes in reality.

We need personality, identity and competence development to shape our own satisfying lives and careers. We cannot avoid conflicts and crises. If we try, we will experience how much we come into contact with the inevitable in an even more powerful way. But we can learn to go through the conflicts and use them for a self-determined life with more meaning and satisfaction. 

Professionally, I experienced an exciting journey over the past 25 years. If you want to get an overview of my professional journey, you can download my profile. 

If you want to know more, please don't hesitate. Get an appointment to exchange ideas with me.

Let´s talk about...    write an e-mail

Kinderbilder_edited.jpg

EMOTIONS

EMOTION COACHING
 

„Where you stuck there is a goldmine.“ Otto Scharmer

Feelings are the real wealth of life. Feelings are there to be felt, not facts. Through them we experience the world as bright and joyful/happy or rather as dark, sad, frightening or with coldness repellent and hostile at the other extreme. Feelings are messages of importance and determine whether we succeed in living a meaningful life. Anxiety, anger, sadness or envy and jealousy - we would prefer to simply get rid of such feelings. But the more we fight them off, the more they dominate us with power and block us.
What would happen if you broke your silence? What if you were heard as well? If you could express your love and also your anger in your relationships? If you finally wanted to take responsibility for your own feelings and the state of your relationships? Ask yourself, which unpleasant feelings and even which pain want to be perceived, heard, considered and allowed to be there? The point is not to go further into avoidance or drama, but to give space to suppressed longings.   

Get your emotion coaching and free your heart. Opening your heart instead of racking your brain means to finally turn towards yourself and to explore yourself more and more openly and truthfully. Experience and feel what really moves you and what you would like to have different: so you follow your longing again and free your heart. break your head

Emotions are complex and multi-layered mental states that reflect our (body) sensations and reactions to external or internal events. Probably the body sensations come first, our stress and reward network automatically jumps in. The feelings that then arise can range from joy and love to fear, anger and contempt. Emotions largely determine our behavior, decision making, and interpersonal relationships, in short, how we feel in this world. If we are in our power, they come and go and we are able to calm ourselves and not let them besiege us.
In every life, emotional crises sometimes occur with corresponding blockages that impede the free flow of emotions.

Emotionscoaching helps you to clean up in a few sessions and to look, for example, presentation anxiety, exam anxiety, fear of public speaking, fear of flying, fear of spiders or animals, fear of women, fear of men, fear of loss or fear of being abandoned or betrayed in the eye. Panic and the stress you then experience can be significantly reduced or even completely eliminated. As a result, your energy is no longer tied up in these fears, but is freed up again for your goal achievement. 
Or you simply want to build up more resilience and fresh energy? Then you are in the right place to permanently tap into your energetic and social sources of strength.

Emotional blocks can arise from negative experiences, trauma or unexpressed feelings. They often lead to emotions being suppressed, denied or avoided, which can lead to psychological stress in the long run. Your uniqueness is pure gold and where you are stuck lies the gold mine, because the energy bound up in it is waiting to be set free. Follow this trail and you will find that you can learn to let go by facing your fears and basic pain. 

This inner emotion work is necessary at first and is then expanded and enriched by a build-up of self-compassion and sources of strength, so that a real stress reduction can happen sustainably, right down to the hormonal level. Completely different networks in the brain then become increasingly active, which include care, love and compassion and lead to joy in life and work.

What we know about it today:
The proven global increases in stress-related illnesses, depression, perceived loneliness, and narcissism - shockingly, even among young people and even children - are interrelated and not isolated phenomena. This has been impressively demonstrated by research conducted in recent years, for example, in the ReSource project with the question "How can we cultivate mind and heart?". 

Every human being has more or less empathy, which means resonating and going into resonance with suffering or joy. In the first case, a pain matrix is activated in the brain, where one's own pain and that of the other comes into processing. A person with high narcissistic needs in the grandiose direction can also deny empathy, remain cold and stabilize his greatness self through compensation and distraction, or ward off a tormenting sense of inferiority with a self that feels worthless. The result is then an inability to sense feelings and to use the other for one's own stabilization, but not to be able to love. Selfcompassion, on the other hand, activates completely different networks in the brain. It can grow and completely change the inner mood. Surprisingly, it has been shown that the prefrontal cortex actually grows physically in these in this kind of self-discovery, becoming physically thicker.

The good news is that the plasticity of your brain is there for life. You can really change if you want to, if you keep at it, if you train and continuously reflect on your development. You cannot avoid pain, but you can avoid suffering. Because feelings are there to be felt and are not facts that you should identify with and possibly still believe that it is the way it seems to you at the moment. Do not misunderstand: Your feelings want to be noticed, but you produce them yourself, not the others. You can change your attitude and your views, manage your stress, get rid of your addictions and fill your life with meaning.

Get your emotionscoaching and sit more easily at the helm of your life with increasing joy and lightness. 

Let´s talk about...    write an e-mail

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